Appreciating negative people and the confirmation they bring…

“People’s perception of you is not as important as their perception of themselves.  There are times when people may become uncomfortable when they see that you have grown in a particular area of your life.  As I wrote in my article “For Growth’s Sake” all forms of discomfort are symptomatic of the need for us to create a positive change in our lives.  Therefore, the issue is not the perception that a person has of you or the perception that they have about your growth.  The real issue is the perception that that person has about themselves in relationship to your growth.

When a person has observed growth in someone else they may look upon their own growth and become uncomfortable in realizing that they themselves have not grown to the same degree.  They may feel disappointed in themselves, they may feel unhappy, and they may project their discomforts onto you.   These projections can manifest in the manner in which they interact with you, the manner in which they speak about you, and the degree to which they value or devalue the growth that you have experienced.  But the central issue is not you.  The central issue is the manner in which they perceive themselves; a perception that may cause them to recognize that they themselves have not gone through their own process of personal growth.  As a means of evading this fact such individuals may go so far as to do and say things that would discourage you from growing further.  In essence they may attempt to block your continued growth.

Regardless of the actions of such individuals you only need to answer one important question.  What is the lesson that this individual is here to teach me?  In truth the lesson learned is that you have grown!  Therefore we should be thankful for such individuals; for they are merely confirming our own growth.

Yes we must embrace those who support us.  Love them much.  Be grateful that they are here to bless us with wonderful energy.  But may we also appreciate those that no longer support us.  Recognize that they are present to confirm our growth.  For this we must be eternally grateful.”  -Lennon Honor

Enough said. I feel myself growing more and more each day and it is such an exciting experience. I have read that the more you appreciate yourself as a person and internally refine yourself, those negative people eventually diminish in your life and more positive people present themselves to build lasting friendships. I myself am already experiencing this, I feel more relaxed, I feel free, I feel I am slowly connecting with myself. Have a great day to anyone who reads this!

noeticJ:

Amazing piece. The day I have children, I will raise them to make their own decisions and judgements. Growing up in a strict cultural upbringing, I relied on my parents up through college and when I realized that soon enough I would have to take responsibility for myself, it quickly effected me in a negative manner. Only after college have I been able to grasp and accept this responsibility. I think, that it had more to do with how I did NOT embrace this change in a positive manner. You must embrace every challenge in life and take positive approaches. I read a quote the other day that said “It is not stress that kills us. It is our REACTION to it.” Enough said.

Originally posted on Planet Mom:

In honor of the late Stephen Covey…

Sarcasm aside, Stephen Covey should have written a book with the abovementioned title. Not that he failed spectacularly as a father, but because people tend to more readily grasp what doesn’t work, as opposed to what does. Like tightrope walking, for instance—without a net. In a practical sense, Seven Habits would’ve been an invaluable guide for parents, highlighting the antithesis of good advice as it relates to the uncertain nature of raising children. Countless individuals, myself included, could’ve then avoided seven of the biggest pitfalls of child rearing—all of which I’ve shamelessly embraced since the advent of motherhood. So in the true spirit of generosity and irreverence, I’ve compiled a list of that which you would do well to eschew.

1)   STOCKPILE EXACTLY NOTHING IN YOUR DISCIPLINARY ARSENAL, rendering you categorically ineffective (read: utterly deplorable) when it comes to dealing with ill-mannered children…

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Addiction & Grace…

So I ordered this book from Barnes & Noble. I was hoping it would be there by today, but it won’t be until the 24th, which I am completely fine with since I’m off that Tuesday & Wednesday. I think I’ll take one day and just go to a beach or park and just read this. I’m really looking forward to it and have read nothing but great reviews on it. One day at a time I’m bettering myself in order to have value to offer to the great people who enter my life. Live the impossible.

Football, etc.

I came across this new independent band I really like. There name is Football, etc. What I admire most about this band is their sound and the double meaning behind their name. Many of their tracks, especially off there album “The Draft” are entitled after football terminology. Yet the way they are able to interpret it in a whole other way is quite unique. Here is one track off the album I purchased that really touched me emotionally, I want to go see them when they are in Boston in early August! They have two shows, either in Somerville or Worcester, I’m thinking Somerville :) Hopefully I have it off, if not I’ll request it, or at least the day after, depending on my hours.

I’ll build a nest for you...

Squantum Point Park

After work today I went to Quincy to check out Squantum Point Park, a small park that is in Marina Bay. It was so tranquil. I sat on a log that was on the rocks overlooking the bay and I could see Umass Boston. It was a beautiful view. I then went around Squantum’s trails and I was a bit sad that it was in the condition it was in. It seems to be a park that at once beamed with energy and now, since it has been messed with since Logan Airport was created, it lacks that energy. However, Mother Nature has always been resilient, so to see how serene it was, I felt at ease. I ended up sleeping there for a bit and then came back home. I needed that. Here are some pics:

 

 

Changes for The True Noetic J

I have decided to not only delete everything I had online, my Twitter, Instagram, Youtube Channel (along with all videos), but, once I do make a new channel, I am going to be putting up music with positive messages. Ones free of mind control, my inner personal refinement as a person, and the beauty of which life has to offer. I got rid of my videos as well, the Trayvon Martin Tribute and Gatorade. Why? They were influenced by society and so negative. Who am I to judge someone? Who am I to insult other’s and continue the norm of what isn’t true male masculinity? This struggle I am going through is only going to make me a better person, everyday is a challenge for personal refinement, and every day I will live up to that. I want to motivate people, I want to make music with positive messages, videos of the same. It’s funny when I think back to when I created the name “Noetic J”. Though I really liked the name because it rhymed with Poetic, I never understood the true meaning behind it. As I look back at certain experiences, I realize I was suppose to create that name to represent what I know now, my intellectual struggle. Fighting with refining myself from this brainwashed mind control world and transforming from animalistic characteristics to the true, masculinity inside of me. I know this will always be a battle every second of everyday, but, one must start somewhere. Do I care about the way my new music will be perceived? Yes and no. Yes, because I want people to go about listening to it with an open mind and no because I am doing it for myself and to motivate others. I will be releasing music from a dark and negative part of my life which has lead me to this rediscovery because I feel it is important for people to recognize the struggles I went through and know that if I can do it, you can do it. We are all one, to be continued….

The Pursuit of a Mate. Myself & Life.

Finding a mate is NOT about pursuing a mate. Finding a mate is about pursuing the greater YOU.

   This really opened my eyes. For most of my life hip-hop played a contributing role in the way I perceived women. Seeing them as “girls” that are always up to no good, got sexy assets, but never looking into their internal individualism. More importantly, never looking into myself. THAT, in itself is immaturity, retarding my growth as a man and going with the “norm” of what society portrays as men being the predator and women being our “prey”. That concept alone is a huge recipe for disaster. Looking back at past relationships, I was always looking for that woman to be my other half, to fill a void and complete me. Truth is, that void comes within myself. It comes within not looking at the patterns in each of my relationships and how they crash and burned just as hard if not harder as when the “sparks flew, emotions ran high ” in the beginning (Dumb & Dumber lol). Right now, I am just beginning to look back at my relationships, seeing the mistakes I made, the mistakes they made, and how the whole concept of a relationship became distorted by society, the media,and music. I need to personally refine myself in order to be able to have a complete relationship and be able to recognize a potential significant others individualism. What I mean is, I am beginning to not believe in “compatibility” and more on self-esteem and a woman’s individualistic affection for herself and who SHE is. There is no timetable, but, what I can say is my past relationships haven’t worked for one reason or another, a lot beginning with the concept I have stated. This is to be continued….

On another note, I have felt myself slowly becoming closer to nature. Since coping with my most recent failure in an attempt of a relationship (from both ends), I have found myself being out in nature more. Clearing my head, taking one breathe at a time, and reflecting on experiences looking for patterns, coming up with analyses. So today, work was very slow, I finished my training within 2 hrs, and the rest of the time I talked to two of my fellow coworkers. One, her name is Don, is a 45-year-old Mother of two, who is divorced from her husband and has a boyfriend of several years. Very outgoing, experienced in life, who is having trouble with her two children who are 16 and 15. Both boys, and experimenting with marijuana and drinking, etc. She seemed a bit flustered because her house was turned upside down when the 16-year-old threw a party while she was on a mini vacation with her boyfriend. She grounded him, but, in talking to her she indirectly asked me for advice. First, starting off by asking me what marijuana does to you, then asking how she can get her oldest to stop. My best piece of advice? I told her to just let him go through it, that, through his own experiences he will learn, there is only so much you can do in hopes that your children growing up make positive decisions rather than negative ones. I believe that is the biggest challenge about raising a child, one that I feel instills fear in parents rather than embracing the challenge in a society that is corrupt and who’s perception of the “norm” is contorted. She seemed very engaged in the conversation and I think that conversation helped our friendship as coworkers raise to positive levels, I could feel the energy, it was very random, yet welcoming.

The other, Justina, is pregnant with twins! She had been wanting to have a baby for a while and it wasn’t working out, then one day POOP! Just like that, she got more than she asked for. A very special and unique gift from GOD if you ask me. Those twins will always have each other. I have always been fascinated by twins and the connection many grow to have mentally with one another. I have more I want to say about that, but, I want to gather my thoughts first. Now, hearing she was having twins also hurt me. Why? Because at one point during my college days, Junior year, a woman who I was sexually active with on a consistent basis actually became pregnant with twins. Twins that were mine. At the time, she never told me and after about 6 months of hooking up (year and a half in total) all of a sudden Junior year coming back after spring break, she held so much resentment towards me that I had no idea why. Granted, she was getting attached and I wasn’t, and I will elaborate more on that in a moment. See, she ended up getting an abortion and telling me about it after she had taken care of it, coming over one day to my suite, and crying. Telling me she never told me because she felt it was for the best and was not going to be persuaded to keep them. I had no idea what to say and what made it worse is I was high off marijuana when she told me, which flustered me by enhancing my emotions which were already all over the place due to my disconnection with myself while under the influence. I bring this is up because people really take for granted the underlying uniqueness behind meaningful sex.

Our society has made it seem perfectly normal to have sex with someone you barely know, one night stands as they refer to it, and many people just having sex with buddies just for their own self-pleasure. Just to “get off” and then go their separate ways. It’s fucked. I was guilty of having friends with benefits relationships throughout college and once I met a woman whom I will refer to as Littleton, I stopped. For a several months now I have not had sexual intercourse, now don’t get me wrong, I love sex, but that is the problem. Many people love sex, but, are unaware of the attachment and addiction it becomes. Everyday, children are born without a father, or a mother, and are adopted or abandoned. All because of one night pleasures and selfishness within one’s self and the “norm” society distorts us with. What I’m trying to say is, there’s nothing more special then having sex when emotions are attached. It is almost like a spiritual embodiment.

This is one positive I took out of my relationship with Littleton. She taught me to respect myself.

Anyway, my point here as well relates to what I said in the beginning about the state of hip-hop and the way it shows women to be objects and just fucking women to show your the shit. Bragging over numbers and what not. Females have followed the model as well, thinking like men and just getting what they want, and in return, emotions and feelings become in-genuine and fake. Which brings me back to the point about Predator and Prey, a setup for failure. My music has also portrayed it in the past and I am working on releasing music with more positive messages, but first, I have to release the ones where my emotions, both, negative and positive, were in a dark place.

I end this blog with some beautiful pictures of where I will spend my 30 minute lunch breaks at work. The hotel I work at has beautiful park overlooking parts of the Charles River and that is where I spent a good hour today (on and off since it wasn’t busy at work) coping with my last relationship and finding myself. It is a process that is just beginning, but, I trust my struggle and know I will come out of this an even stronger person then before.

*Update*

Great guidance by Lennon. Videos were not around when human beings were first born. However, if those who have gained a certain level of enlightenment with themselves can spread that positiveness with others, it can only open up our minds and continue to keep our creative juices flowing.

Colorblind

I am colorblind
Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready 
I am ready 
I am ready 
I am
Taffy stuck, tongue tied 
Stuttered shook and uptight
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am ready
I am ready
I am…fine
I am covered in skin
No one gets to come in
Pull me out from inside
I am folded, and unfolded, and unfolding
I am
colorblind
Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready 
I am ready
I am ready
I am…fine
I am…. fine
I am fine